


Half of a Hero

by Renezinha



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Evil!Kaidan, Illustrated, Kaidan Clone, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-29
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-09 12:50:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3250313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Renezinha/pseuds/Renezinha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><div class="center">
  <p><br/>Some post war story i wanted to write to get the feels off me. It never works, does it?! Hah</p>
  <p> <br/> <b>[With art made by me, coloring collab with <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/users/MashuraDi">MashuraDi</a> in the second chapter.]</b><br/></p>
</div>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Shepard woke up to a silent dark room. The smell of antiseptic soon reached his nostrils and he grimaced, slowly shifting in bed, trying to sit up. He ached all over and his eyes were giving him trouble, not letting him see a thing at first. Blinking a few times, rubbing them with a hand, he noticed the faint lights from the machine he..was wired to? Alright, so he was in a Hospital, that much he realized. He pulled the wires off his arm and when he tried to get up from the bed, he fell hard onto the cold floor, the loud thud soon alerting one of the nurses passing by in the adjacent hall.

“Commander Shepard? Oh God, you're awake!” The nurse rushed to help him up and that's when he realized something was off. He was having trouble standing not because he was still dizzy and weak, but because his left leg was gone. Right below the knee. He didn't say anything, but the nurse could tell he looked horrified by the way he stared down at his missing limb.

“I'm sorry” Was all she said before she helped him getting back to bed. She wasn't sure if she should leave him right now but she had to inform her superiors. Dr Chakwas had been in charge ever since the Normandy made its way back to Earth. It took them around five, six months to return with the mass relays being offline and all. The nurse left the room and he kept staring, like staring for too long would actually make his leg grow back. What an idiot. He knows he should be thankful he got out alive from the massive explosion, but right now he wasn't feeling lucky at all. He shifted his gaze to the only window in the room but saw nothing outside, not even lights He wonders how long it has been since he fired the Crucible. He wonders if it worked the way the Catalyst said he would. Running a hand through his hair, he finds it longer than the usual. The hairstyle he used to have when he was a teen. Alright, it has been at least a few months if his hair was that long. Only a few minutes after the nurse left, Dr Chakwas was entering the room and she was smiling, probably in relief. She approached him and quickly activated her omni-tool, running a quick scan.

“Welcome back, Commander Shepard. It sure took you a while until you decided to come back to us”

“I would have come back sooner if i were able to decide such thing, Doc* His voice sounded hoarse and lower than usual but after beeing asleep for so long, it was normal, nothing to worry about. “Dr Chakwas..how long have i.been out?”

“Six months after a few soldiers found you lying beneath the rubble. A whole week after the war ended” She said, turning off her omni-tool and finally looking at him in the eye.

“So..it worked. The Reapers are dead” He managed something close to a smirk though his face still hurt a little “Good”

“Admiral Hackett will fill you in with all the details, Commander. Patience”

“If you're here..it means the crew of the Normandy is okay...is Kaidan okay?” Of course he had to ask, last time he saw him he was forcing him to stay behind, much against the Biotic's will.

“Major Alenko is fine, so is everyone else. I don't know where he is at the moment but i can try to get a hold of him if you wish. Last time i heard, he was being sent with a team to the Citadel”

“I see. Thanks” Dr Chakwas caught him staring at his missing leg and she leaned close, reaching out a hand to touch his shoulder “ I wasn't here when they decided to cut it off but i read the reports, it had to be done, otherwise the infection would have compromised your entire body and lead you to certain death”Shepard wanted to laugh at that. The Reapers didn't manage to kill him, but a goddamn infection almost finished the job for them. “ I've been told they're working on a prosthetic leg using all resources available but i'm afraid it will take some time until it's ready”

Chakwas ordered a nurse to bring food and water and then turned to Shepard, saying she'd come see him later. He nodded and sighed, letting himself slid down to bed, trying to ignore the fact he's a cripple now. He'd force his brain to think of pleasant stuff, like knowing everyone in the Normandy was okay and that Kaidan was okay too.

  
Kaidan was working with a team on the Citadel for almost two weeks now. Clearing the rubble, finding corpses, securing specific areas from robbers, there was a bit of everything and everything needed to be done. Power was back in the crowded areas but most of the station was still in the dark. Kaidan was just taking a break to have a snack and some water when his omni-tool beeped. He brought it up and Dr Chakwas greeted him. She was smiling, that only meant good news. When the woman told him Shepard woke up last night, he almost dropped his water.

“How is he? And don't soothe the truth for me, Doctor, i really want to know” She told him the truth, she told him his vitals were stable, told him he was eager to see him and the Major had to smile at that. “ I'm glad..i'll be there soon” He wanted to take the next shuttle back to Earth but he had work to do and as much as he wanted to see his lover, he had to finish it first. 

 

A few days have passed since then. Almost all of his crew went to visit him and he was happy to see they were alright and busy either helping with supplies or rebuilding what was lost. Shepard had his leg covered with the sheets, not wanting any of his friends to look at him like that but once they cleared the room, Garrus stayed behind. The Turian knew about the leg thing because some blabbermouth nurse near the cafeteria was talking about it.

“It doesn't matter, Shepard. You saved the Galaxy and that's just a leg”

“My leg, Garrus. I happened to cherish it very much in case you never noticed “ He rolled his eyes, trying to hide his own amusement at how stupid that sounded. Funnier than stupid maybe.

“They're getting you a new one. Not Cerberus tech, but it's better than a cane. Though a cane would suit you just fine, old pal”

“Hilarious”

“And if you need your new leg calibrated, you know where to find me” There will always be calibration jokes. Shepard laughed at that and shook his head.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's art at the end of the chapter. I drew it and my friend MashuraDi colored it x)

A couple days later, Admiral Hacket finally found the time to go visit Shepard at the Hospital. The old man insisted on sharing all the details and inevitable consequences in person, it was the least he could do, Shepard saved the galaxy after all. Shepard learned about what happened to the Geth, what happened to EDI and that might have explained why Joker seemed upset last time he came to visit. Shepard can understand him, he had started seeing EDI as another squadmate instead of just an AI. Sure she needed to work on her jokes but she tried anyway. Hacket said they'd host a ceremony soon and he wanted him to be present and even make a speech. Shepard frowned at the mental picture. He didn't want to drag any attentions towards him, towards his new reality. Even with a robotic leg, people would always feel sorry for him. Or at leas that's what he thinks. Dr Chakwas stated before he might be a little depressed and he's starting to think she's right. Hacket left eventually and a nurse came in with lunch.

“When can i have some steak? Maybe a beer? I'd kill for a beer” He said, frowing at the food in the tray.

“I'm afraid you won't be having that steak and beer anytime soon, sir” The nurse muffled a giggle, placing the tray on the Commander's lap. “Dr Michel will be here in a couple hours to continue your PT sessions”

“Okay, what about a tv then? Or an omni-tool? Do you have any idea how boring it is to stay here all day and do nothing?”

“I'll see what i can do” She nodded, noticing he wasn't touching his food “If you finish your meal first, that is”

Shepard rose a brow at that and smirked, grabbing the little bowl with the..jello? “Well aren't you fresh, Ms Blake”

 

That same day, a few shuttles coming from the Citadel landed near the Hospital. Kaidan stepped out of one of them and took a deep breath, letting the not so clear air fill his lungs. He was a little nervous about seeing John after so long.Last time he saw him he didn't look so good and he almost teared when he noticed he had lost his leg.

“Sir, we're going back to the barracks, with your permission sir” A young male soldier said from behind him.

“Go on then. Stay close in case i need you” The Major nodded, saluting the soldier when he saluted him first.

 

Meanwhile, Shepard's PT session ended. Dr Michel had brought the infamous prosthetic leg and let him use it, to get used to it but he cursed it when he found it was a lot harder to handle than he expected. Dr Michel said it was normal, that he'd get used to it in time but patience is surely not his forte lately. He was sitting in bed, watching a movie on a tv the nurse managed to bring after he finished his food. Some Blasto movie that happened to be on during the war. Not that he's the biggest fan, but he had to admit Blasto had some good lines. 

“Blasto, huh?”

Shepard turned his head to the door, following that familiar voice, finding Kaidan standing right there, arms crossed over his chest. 

“ Don't tell Joker” He smiled widely like he hasn't in a long time “Kaidan”

“John, it's so good to see you” The Major walked over to the bed and sat on the edge, pulling Shepard in a strong loving embrace, releasing a sigh he didn't realize he has been holding since he stepped out of the shuttle.

“It's good to see you too, you..” He pulled back, looking into those brown eyes he missed so much. “You look really good, Major”

“I thought i had lost you” Kaidan admitted all of a sudden “I prayed to all Gods out there to bring you back to me, guess it worked. Miracles do happen” Said almost in a whisper before closing the distance between their lips. Shepard kissed back, bringing a hand up to cup Kaidan's cheek, deepening the kiss... Until the Major pulled back, letting John slightly panting for more. He has always been greedy when it came to Kaidan's lips.

“Still can't believe i have been out for almost half a year. Dr Chakwas and Hacket said you were helping in the Citadel. How is it going?”

“Slow, but..we've been making progresses. It's going to take a few years, but..i think everyone's pretty confident” Kaidan smiled, running his fingers through Shepard's long hair “ I even managed to rebuild Anderson's apartment. I mean..it's not the same as it used to be, but at least the power is on. It's not as damaged as you think it would be..i was thinking..when you get better, we could..i don't know..stay there?”

“Huh, are you asking me to move in with you..into my own apartment?” Shepard smirked, Kaidan laughed.

“I guess i am”

“Hm...alright. But we're taking my fish, my hamster and the husk head with us”

“...”

“Kaidan?”

“The fish and the hamster are alive, i don't know what happened to the husk head though” He lied, he had asked Javik to throw it out the airlock. He never liked that thing anyway.

  
[ ](http://tinypic.com?ref=hrexk3)   



	3. Chapter 3

It had been a month since Shepard was finally able to leave the Hospital. He wore the prosthetic leg and was slowly learning how to adjust to it. It was hard and sometimes he'd stumble easily but Kaidan insisted on getting him a cane much against his will, of course.Shepard hated it and found it actually to be pretty useful at the same time since standing on his feet for too long would start to hurt. They had moved to the apartment right after he left the Hospital and he had to recognize the place didn't look so bad, not as bad as the rest of the Citadel, but everyone was putting their best efforts into rebuilding and repairing the station.

Kaidan would often report for duty wether it was in the Citadel, on Earth or even off planet, leaving Shepard all by himself most of times. Not that Shepard could argue, he was happy Kaidan was making himself useful but he sure regreted not being able to do the same. It was one of those days. Kaidan was absent and Garrus and Tali were coming over to visit since they happened to be in the Citadel for a couple days.

“Shepard” Garrus greeted him, making his way inside the apartment, eyeing the cane for a moment, managing something close to a smirk..or whatever it was since Turian's face are way too complicated to figure out. 

“Don't..even start” Shepard warned, smirking. Tali hit the back of Garrus' head softly and walked towards the Commander, giving him a hug.

“It's great to see you made a full recover. You're looking more like your old self with each passing day. I see the abs are back, have you been work-” Garrus cut her off almost immediately “Oh don't mind me, keep flirting with the Commander, i'm not even here at all” He tried to sound serious but he sure failed at that. Tali giggled and was probably rolling her eyes at him though her helmet still covered her face.

“I had no idea Turians could be jealous. It's cute” Tali said and Shepard snickered, inviting them to the living room for a drink.

“I'll he heading back to Rannoch tomorrow and Garrus is returning to Palaven as well now that the relays seem to be fully operational”

“And you came to say goodbye. Thanks” He offered them two beers, from Kaidan's stash, and handed a straw to Tali. “Maybe i'll go visit you guys someday”

“Please do!” Tali said after slurping some beer “Actually everyone should go, i have been wanting to throw a party like the one you threw that time we were on shore leave.I got soooo drunk, remember my tattoo?”

Garrus snorted and put his drink down “There was never a tattoo in the first place”

“Was too!”

“I can't recall either, feels like it all happened a long time ago” Shepard said, finishing his beer “ But hey, you can always get one..when you finally get rid of the suit”

“I can't wait for her to get rid of the suit too, Shepard “ Tali chocked and almost summoned Chatika to electrify the Turian's ass.

 

Tali and Garrus left a couple hours later and Shepard wished them a safe trip back home. Letting the door close behind them, he walked, well, mostly limped, back to the living room to take the empty bottles to the trash can in the kitchen. Even the simplest of tasks proved to be a pain in the ass. He was in pain and decided to remove the prosthetic leg for a while. Dr Michel would scold him for that but he couldn't care less. Once it was removed, he let out a sigh of relief and lied down on the couch, using his omni-tool to turn the Tv on. Like usual, nothing good was on. Networks only started broadcasting recently and it was always about the war and everyone's efforts on rebuilding their own homeworlds. He would see himself on the news too, once in a while, he didn't like watching himself on Tv and whenever he changed the channel, it landed on another Blasto movie. He was slowly starting to lose himself in the plot when his omni-tool beeped. A call. From Kaidan. He did say he'd call. Shepard didn't bother sitting up and accepted the call, the image of Kaidan's face showing up before his eyes.

“Hey “ Shepard greeted, smiling a lazy smile.

“Hey there, taking a nap?”  
“Close enough. Where are you this time?” Shepard tried to figure the background behind Kaidan but he couldn't place it.

“Vancouver. They needed help with some Batarian rebels” Alway the Batarians, then again when aren't they rebels?

“I see. Wish i could be there, helping you”

“And i wish i could be there, resting my ass on the couch next to you” Kaidan said with a smile. Shepard grimaced, knowing he was just trying to make a joke though in his head it sounded like he was wasting his time doing nothing while others worked hard.

“Well, when are you coming back? Feels lonely in here, you know?” Sighed, running his fingers through his annoying long bangs, hoping he didn't sound too needy. Though he probably did.

“If everything goes well, maybe in a couple days. I miss you too”

“I didn't say i miss you” Shepard smirked.

“Playing hard to get, are we? Just wait until i get home” Shepard couldn't wait.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lol smut attempt lol
> 
> And there's a drawing i made and colored at the end though it doesn't really illustrate anything in the story.

Two days turned into a week, but when Kaidan finally arrived home, John didn't complain, he knows better when things get complicated, nothing's ever certain these days, never were before, why would they be now. Kaidan was happy to see Shepard was adjusting to his new leg, having it covered by the fabric of his pants, the man looked like he had never lost it in the first place. Not that it bothers the biotic, he loves him no matter how he looks but he knows Shepard has been having a hard time dealing with it.

Kaidan brought some supplies from Earth and Shepard was amazed to see there was steak and Canadian lager amongst them. He's not gonna ask how he got those because he sure misses eating something that doesn't taste like cardboard everyday. The Biotic was in the kitchen, cooking lunch, when Shepard walked inside, not using the cane this time, trying to show the man he doesn't need it. He'd lose his balance every now and then but mostly when no one was looking. He walked over to one side of the stove and glanced at the meat being fried inside the pan.

“No hot sauce ?” Shepard asked.

“I'm not a miracle worker, Shepard. Besides...look, i'm not burning the garlic this time” He chuckled, flipping the meat over with a fork.

“Yeah..for now” Kaidan softly nudged his side and shook his head in amusement.

“Why don't you let me finish this while you go take a shower or something? You just got here and went straight to cooking.”

“It's okay, i got this, it's almost done anyway”

Shepard slightly frowned at him and leaned his back against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. He appreciates Kaidan for helping him, for cooking for him, for..doing almost everything for him lately but he's getting tired of being treated like he's made of porcelain. Didn't he save the Galaxy from the Reapers??

“ I'm confused, when did you turn into my babysitter, Kaidan? I usually spend my days alone in here while you're gone and so far the goddamn apartment didn't fall on my head. Though i wish it had, at least something exciting would be happening around here!”

Kaidan turned off the stove and looked at Shepard, studying him for a moment, realizing how frustrated he sounded. Maybe he was right? “ I didn't realize you feel that way, i was just trying to be supportive. It's not like you can jump back into action either, the Alliance won't reinstate you anytime soon . Why not enjoy what you have now? Let people do something for you for a change.”

“They will, i'm not gonna sit on my ass forever” Shepard said in a stubborn tone which had Kaidan rolling his eyes.

“Ok, maybe they will, i don't know, i don't care. All i want now is for you to sit down and eat this damn steak and say it tastes good even without the hot sauce” Kaidan served the food in a plate and took it to the table in the center, getting the beers from the box and removing the tap from one, placing it next to the food “Eat. I'll have that shower”

Yep. Shepard cursed the biotic under his breath as he made his way out of the kitchen, and then smirked because worked out Kaidan is hot. Shepard sat at the table and grabbed his fork, poking the steak a few times before finally taking a bite. He grimaced ..it definitely needed that sauce.

 

Since climbing the stairs to the first floor is a major pain in the ass, Shepard often opted to rest on the couch or take the bed in the gymn. The punching bag and the bar there reminded him of Vega and that time he tried to surpass the Lieutenant's record. He failed and Vega still praised him..though he's sure the young marine probably wanted to say he's an old dog. Shepard was lying on his side, reading something on a datapad when he heard footsteps closing by. Kaidan had just finished his shower but seems he didn't bother putting any clothes on since he was just wearing a towel..which he dropped once Shepard rolled on his side to take a good look of him.

“What, is this naked Friday or something?”

“I didn't know i needed a specific day to get naked around my boyfriend” Kaidan smirked as he climbed into bed, lying next to Shepard, throwing an arm around his waist, resting his chin on his shoulder, placing a kiss on the skin there later.

“No, i guess any day is a good day” Shepard went back to the datapad but Kaidan demanded attention and he'd get it. He slid the hand wrapped around Shepard's waist down to Shepard's groin and palmed his cock through the fabric of his pants.

“What are you reading anyway?” Kaidan asked, tracing Shepard's neck freckles with his tongue.

“...news..from..Palaven, Thessia..you know” Blasto fanfiction actually. The Jellyfish was about to get freaky with his Asari partner but it seems he'll have to see what happens later because Kaidan's hand and tongue can be pretty distracting. Shepard tossed the datapad aside and turned to catch his lover's lips with his. Kaidan smiled into the kiss and didn't waste time deepening it, pushing his tongue past Shepard's teeth, exploring his mouth. Kaidan's fingers gripped the lenght of Shepard's now full hard member and Shepard moaned into his mouth, slowly thrusting his hips against Kaidan's hand.

“Are you sure..? “ Kaidan asked in this low but so very husky tone of his which send shivers up and down Shepard's spine. Shepard looked into his eyes for a moment and nodded. Sure they'd make out and touch each other most of the time, getting off like that wasn't that bad but they missed the intimacy of making love to each other. Shepard wasn't sure he was ready to go back to that level of intimacy for the last weeks but right now he couldn't be more sure of it. He wanted Kaidan and he wanted him bad. The Biotic obviously smiled at the Commander's positive answer and soon moved from Shepard's side to rest himself between his legs, pulling his cock out of his pants, giving it a few rough strokes before sliding it almost fully into his mouth.

“Okay..f-fuck!” Shepard threw his head back against the pillow, one hand gripped the sheets next to him, the other grabbing a fistful of Kaidan's hair as the man kept on sucking him off. Kaidan's tight lips and expert tongue nearly drove him to the edge and he didn't care about warning him about it, when it happened, he let it happen and Kaidan didn't seem to bother either because he swallowed everything Shepard gave him. Kaidan pulled him out of his mouth and licked his lips before pressing a little kiss against Shepard's sensitive tip.Shepard lifted his head and their eyes met, the look Kaidan gave him was one of hunger and it gave him the chills. The Biotic got up from bed and left for a moment, leaving a confused Shepard behind..until he showed up again,holding a tiny flask in his hand. Shepard recognized it immediately.

“We..don't have to do this, if you..” Kaidan asked, just to make sure it was what Shepard wanted. It was what he wanted and he almost sighed in relief when Shepard nodded back at him.”Okay”

Kaidan positioned himself between Shepard's legs again and opened the flask, pouring a generous amount of liquid into his fingers while Shepard watched him intently, his whole body tensing with anticipation. When Kaidan slid a finger into his tight opening, Shepard tried to relax but when he added two more, he squirmed a little, panting heavily. He surprised Kaidan when he barked the order for the Biotic to get inside him before he gets up and punches his face for being a teasing bastard. Kaidan obliged and coated his own member with lube.He leaned over Shepard, placing his good leg on his shoulder and placed a palm against the mattress, using his free hand to guide his cock inside Shepard. It was overwhelming, for both of them. It had been half a year since the last time they did this and a little pain and pressure was expected. He let Shepard adjust to him and when he did, he stopped caring about hurting his lover, he slammed hard into him, letting his urges guide his movements.

 

A few hours later, Kaidan woke up from the short nap he fell into after making love to Shepard. He was all sweaty and dirty, remembering none of them bothered to get up after, choosing to just stay like that and cuddle until sleep claimed them both. Shepard was still sleeping and Kaidan noticed the shape of the prosthetic leg on the sheets. He pulled the sheet off it and stared at it for a while, not daring to touch it. He was actually proud Shepard was putting a lot of effort into getting used to walk on that thing since he can't imagine himself having to use one those. When he noticed, Shepard was awake and staring at him.

“A nice piece of work, huh?” He quickly covered it back with the sheet because it still made him uncomfortable when others looked, Kaidan included.

“It helps you stand on your feet, it's all that matters. It doesn't bother me, John, you don't have to hide it” Kaidan lied down next to him and rested his head on his shoulder, bringing a hand to Shepard's chest, tracing invisible patterns on the skin around one nipple.

“I know” But he'll keep on hiding it because it bothers him.

  
[ ](http://tinypic.com?ref=2rnd3bb)   



	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art by moi at the end.

Another month went by. Shepard was more than used to the prosthetic leg by now, of course it still bothered him sometimes, but being able to forget that his real leg is gone and that this one is a replacement, was a blessing. At least to Kaidan it was because that way he wouldn't have to hear his boyfriend's complaints the whole time.

“Where are they sending you this time?” Shepard asked while preparing a sandwich for himself, using meat from last night's meatloaf..he thinks.

“Remember that oil refinery we helped Captain Riley with?” 

“What about it?” He turned to glance at Kaidan, taking a bite from his sandwich. The meat was dry but it was better than nothing.

“It needs repairs and my team will make sure nothing jumps on the Engineers while they work to bring it back to life” Kaidan squinted his eyes, watching Shepard eat the sandwich “Why are you eating that? Meatloaf from two days ago, didn't i get rid of it?”

“Two days ago? Wasn't it from last night? Huh...no wonder it tastes like crap“ He kept eating it anyway and Kaidan rolled his eyes saying he won't take care of him if he gets sick or something. Shepard smirked and said he totally would. Kaidan rose a brow and sighed, agreeing he totally would.

“Just make sure you eat fresh food while i'm away, John. I don't need to hire a babysitter, do i? Maybe..what was the name of that nurse..Ms Blake? Mrs Blake? She used to make you eat your veggies” Kaidan teased, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Better not, Nurse Blake and i had this chemistry, you see..unrequited love. We can't be any near each other”

Kaidan chuckled, shaking his head “Right, because you always had a thing for physically large bossy old women”

“Hey, i could have. You're lucky i'm into Biotic smartasses” He was about to laugh but coughed instead, that damn meat refusing to go down. Kaidan poured water into a glass and quickly handed it to him.

“A piece of old meat almost killed you, maybe i should really hire someone to watch over you, huh?”

“Don't you..” Another cough”..dare!”

 

Next day, Kaidan said his goodbyes to Shepard and the former Commander watched him leave on the shuttle. Okay, another week, maybe a couple more weeks all alone in that huge apartment. Shepard wasn't having none of that. This time, he refused to sit on his ass and wait for prince charming to come back from his mission. No. He decided he was gonna make himself useful and take a tour around the Citadel,see if he could help with anything. Fortunately, the long hair and the beard he refused to shave so far, would let him walk by unnoticed. He really didn't look like Commander Shepard at all these days. 

Later, that same day, Shepard wore one of Kaidan's hoodies and a black cap. Black pants, black boots. The leg was being nice to him too and he wished it kept that way for the rest of the day. He walked down the recently rebuilt street, watching people working on buildings from each side, probably trying to rebuild their stores. Some stores were open to public even though they didn't seem to have that many supplies yet..but then again, you gotta start from somewhere. Reaching the finantial district, he could see how the area was still a huge pile of rubble. There were teams taking care of that, he assumed they had been taking care of other parts of the station before reaching this one. He decided he'd lend them a hand since there were civilians helping too. 

“Here, let me” Shepard grabbed the edge of the metallic chunk of what seemed to be a wall which a female civilian was trying so hard to carry all by herself, and with his help, they were swift to throw it to the huge trash compactor near the truck.

“Thanks, we got a lot more of those to get rid of” She stated, wiping the sweat of her forehead with her sleeve and then extending one of her hands towards him “I'm Sarah by the way”

“John” He said, gently squeezing her hand “ Then let's get to it”

It was a long day and though his back and leg ached all over, he felt good for helping. He wasn't shooting things, but it felt good anyway. Felt good being useful for a change. Kaidan would probably not approve, but he sure he's glad he's off world at the moment. He was ready to call it a day, maybe go back home and take the pills he was supposed to have taken hours ago and get some rest, but Sarah invited him for a drink at the also recently rebuilt Apollo and he didn't have the courage to refuse such invitation. Most of his crew, his friends aren't even on the Citadel and maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to start making new ones.

“I have no idea what they have, but i figured it was worth a try. Not many cafes and restaurants are open around here these days” She said, taking a seat at the table, Shepard sitting across her. He remembers having dinner there with Kaidan before, still remembers how the older man grew a pair and told him about his feelings. He was distracted with his thoughts when the girl tossed one of the virtual menus at him.

“Look, besides their infamous Batarian shard wine, there's whisky. I'm buying so...we're definitely drinking that! “ The girl placed their order and soon enough a waiter would bring them their drinks “ You don't talk much, do you?”

“What?” He was holding the datapad, though not really paying much attention to it “Huh, sorry for that. Whisky is fine”

“Has to, i already ordered two” She leaned back against her seat and glanced over to him, slightly squinting her eyes. She thinks she recognizes him from somewhere, but she isn't really sure where from. Not yet. “You look like the soldier type, John. Were you fighting in the war?”

“You could say that” He dropped the datapad and scratched his chin. That damn beard sure itches like hell sometimes. “What about you?”

“Wife of a soldier actually..he died fighting those things” That explained the ring on her left hand “I decided i wasn't gonna stay at home and do nothing, i'm helping anywhere i can, for him”

“My condolences. I'm sure he was a great man. It's not the same but i've a lost a lot of good friends in the war too, so..i can relate”

“Thank you" She smiled, letting out a little sigh “It's hard to move on, isn't it? At least i'm trying, i mean..i just invited a stranger for a drink” She chuckled and then went quiet for a moment, probably feeling embarrassed.

“It's okay. Sarah. It's okay to move on, it's the only thing anyone can do, dwelling in the past should never be an option”

The woman nodded softly and then an Asari waitress came by with their drinks. She placed the glasses on the table and left to attend other clients.

“How about..a toast?” He offered, reaching for his glass “To this war's fallen heroes”

“I can drink to that..oh..and to moving on!” She took her glass and bumped it against his before taking a long sip.

 

After that drink, Shepard said goodbye to Sarah and went home. She had offered to walk him home but that was one offer he had to decline. He wasn't trying to be rude, but he was tired. Took him long enough to reach the apartment and as soon as the doors slid shut behind him, his omni-tool beeped. Kaidan calling, what a punctual little bastard. Shepard answered the call and Kaidan's face showed up in the little orange screen.

“Hey...just checkin in..are you...”

“What?” Shepard was still wearing the cap and his face was covered in dust and faint traces of oil too. Besides he was a little flustered because of the whisky.

“ John, you're dirty”

“Yeah?”

“Shepard, where have you been?”

Shepard walked to the bathroom and looked at his reflection on the mirror. What an amateur mistake, he should have washed his face! Before answering Kaidan's call at least.

“Do you really want me to anwer something you already know, Major?”

Yeah, that smartass answer got the two into a heated but hilarious fight and Kaidan's annoyed expression when Shepard laughed about the whole thing, was priceless.

  
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	6. Chapter 6

A week, two weeks..a month has passed since Kaidan left for that oil refinery. After a week without hearing anything from his lover, Shepard was ready to steal a ship and go find him on his own. Hackett tried to tranquilize the former Commander ..saying the comms were still unstable and that was probably the reason why the Major's team hadn't check in yet. Two weeks later, even Hackett was worried. The Admiral had sent a team to investigate and said team stopped answering another two weeks later. So, yeah, a month since Kaidan and those teams were gone and no one knew why. 

Shepard tried to convince Hackett to give him a ship, let him do things his way like in the old times, but the Admiral wouldn't budge. He didn't want to send the savior of the galaxy on a goose hunt, let alone the fact he wasn't fit for duty either. Capable men were sent before and those same capable men were assumed missing in action now.

“Admiral..with all due respect..”

“Save it, Shepard. Until we hear from the last team, my hands are tied. I'm not going to send anyone else, the risk is too high. You of all people should know that”

“I understand, but..”

“Major Alenko is a capable man, he wasn't made Spectre for his looks. I suggest you stay put and wait. Now if there's nothing else....Hackett out”

Shepard grunted and turned off his omni-tool.He knows the Admiral is right, sending teams after teams only to lose them all would be a huge mistake, an amateur to say the least. But that didn't change how he felt, he was about to go insane for not knowing anything about the only one person he cares about in the whole goddamn galaxy. All days seemed longer since Kaidan stopped calling. He tried to distract himself with helping in the Citadel, overfed his pets more than once and even hanging out with Sarah wasn't helping the days pass faster though the woman tried her best to cheer him up when he told her what was going on. That's when she finally realized John was actually Commander John Shepard. She understood why he wouldn't want to draw any attentions, he was never good at dealing with the press. Sarah remembers seeing the vid where he punched that annoying reporter. Still made her giggle.

“I know it's not much and probably won't help your mood either, but..i heard they've managed to rebuild part of that theater in the lower wards. Blasto is all they've got. I was wondering if you'd like to catch a movie later?” Sarah had grown close to Shepard in the past month, maybe there was something else hidden beneath all that kindness, but Shepard was either too oblivious to notice or simply pretended not to notice.

“I think i could use the distraction” Shepard said after downing half of the water inside his bottle. Repairs in the Citadel were as slow as ever but he was happy just by helping clear the rubble out of the way for the engineer teams and rescue teams do their jobs. And his new leg started to feel more and more like a part of his body, like it had never been gone in the first place.

“Great! So..it's a date.Meet me there at..6pm” She either had something in her eye or she had just really winked at him. She turned around quickly and grabbed her stuff to leave.

“Sure” He left as well and though he then regretted saying yes, he knew he couldn't back down on Sarah's invitation now. She has been patient enough and it's not like he had wanted to make new acquaintances lately. Walking all the way back to the apartment didn't take as long as before and when he got there, he tried not to let the silence of the place overwhelm him. But damn how he missed Kaidan, how he missed that voice of his..even when he spent most of time scolding him for silly things... before Shepard tackled him down onto the carpet and took him right there and then.

“Just waiting for your big entrance at any moment, Kaidan” He mumbled to himself as he made his way upstairs to the bathroom. A long relaxing shower followed and when he stepped out of the shower cabin, he looked at his reflection on the mirror and decided that creepy yeti beard had to go. It was too long. So was his hair but besides a cut here and there, he wouldn't buzz it like in the old days. Kaidan liked his hair long just like that.

Shepard had finished with the beard and was now taking care of his hair with a scissor when he heard a noise downstairs. Footsteps..besides him and his pets, no one was in the house and he surely wasn't expecting visitors. It couldn't be Kaidan either ..otherwise Hackett or Kaidan himself would have contacted him in his omni-tool. So, yeah, perhaps it was a thief? Shepard put the scissor down and put a pair of pants on and before leaving the room, he went for that Carnifex he keeps hidden under his pillow. Cliché much, Kaidan had said before..but the joke's on him since it was going to prove to be useful right now.

More noises, heavy footsteps...Shepard had reached the railing and as he took a peek at the floor below, he saw dirty footstep marks all over the floor and carpet. From the direction they seemed to take, this intruder had made his/her way into the kitchen. Shepard descended the stairs, trying not to make any noises and pressed his back flat against the kitchen wall,trigger finger ready. He took a deep breath and leaned to take a peek and what he found almost knocked the wind out of him.

“What the hell?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dat cliffhanger! (Happens when you're trying to figure out what to do next)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art(?) by me.

Shepard lowered his gun and took a few steps into the kitchen area, just to make sure he's not seeing things and...no, he was definitely not hallucinating. The intruder happened to be Kaidan. Shepard couldn't be more confused at this point.

  
[ ](http://tinypic.com?ref=xd9pad)  


“Kaidan? What...” Kaidan seemed to ignore him there for a moment, the biotic was leaning in front of the open fridge, trying to find something to drink. He grabbed a beer and closed the door, glancing over at Shepard.

“Commander Shepard” Kaidan removed the cap off his bottle and took a swig, eyes set on the former Commander the entire time “Shepard, good to..see you”

Alright, what? Shepard's confusion grew with each passing second, why was he using a rank that is no longer his and why does he seem unfazed about the current situation? “You're kidding, right? It's been a month, Kaidan, hell, thought you were dead or..worse! I spoke to Hackett not so long ago and they had no idea about what happened to you nor what happened to the team they sent to rescue yours. Now you..simply waltz into the apartment like nothing happened? How did you even manage to get into the Citadel without anyone else knowing about it?” Besides, the biotic was wearing an armor that clearly wasn't his. Scratched,messy, bloody and burnt, it probably has seen a lot of fight.

“That's..a whole lot of questions, Shepard, i just got back” He took another swig and leaned over the counter, leaving the bottle next to him “Long story short, we..my..team, we were ambushed after leaving Cyone. At first we thought they were Batarian pirates because the ship had no visible logos...turns out they were Cerberus”

“Cerberus? Even with the Illusive Man gone, they're still around?”

“Are you surprised, Shepard? Anyway, they captured us, took us to a nearby planet, locked us in..they killed my teammates, used them for weird experiments. Those scientists were scary as fuck, believe me, without any guidance, guess they went crazy.Crazier even.”

“Goddamn Cerberus..” Shepard shook his head, sighing, then looked back at the biotic “What about the second team, the one Hackett sent to find you? Do you know what happened to them?”  
“No idea, it wouldn't surprise me if they ended up as prisoners as well “Kaidan took the beer and finished it after a couple more swigs. “Took me a while to finally be able to escape. No need to go after them either, i..blasted the whole facility to hell and took one of their ships to come back to the Citadel. The comms were jammed, guess..that's why no messages went through”

“Huh..i'm sorry for your team, it never gets easy, i know. Still, it's..really good to have you back in one piece, Major” Shepard managed a little smirk, circling the counter to meet him “You should report to Hackett ..and then i'll lock you in the shower for the rest of the day because...damn, you stink.”

Kaidan let out a weird nervous chuckle and flinched a little when Shepard leaned to kiss him. If Shepard noticed it, then he decided not to say anything.

“Aye, sir”

 

By the end of the day, Kaidan had reported back to Hackett and the Admiral decided to give the Major a couple weeks of shore leave. After a month of all that mess, that's the least he could do.

“Kaidan?”

“Over here” Kaidan was having a cup of coffee and standing by the huge open windows in the living room. He was admiring the view like it was the first time he was actually seeing it.

“I was wondering...how tired are you? Have any energy left to go out and have some dinner, maybe..take our chances at the Casino? Funny how fast they were to rebuild that place though”Shepard surrounded the man's waist with his arms and rested his chin over his shoulder “ So?”

“I think..i'd rather stay home” Again, that weird flinch when Shepard hugged him from behind. Same way he used to flinch the first time he and Shepard got closer and was just trying to get used to the whole thing. Shepard didn't say anything about his lover's hesitation this time either.

“Hm, okay. Guess we can cook something and..catch up” There was definitely something weird going on with Kaidan but he wasn't going to bring it up right now and ruin the moment. So..they stayed home, cooked together..and Kaidan either hit his head or he was getting worse at cooking his favorite thing in the world. He burnt the beef and not even an entire flask of hot sauce managed to save it. Of course Shepard saved dinner by cooking something else.

Meanwhile, Sarah was tired of waiting for Shepard by the Theater area. The clock marked 6:45pm when she finally decided to call it quits and go home.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plost twist. Or not, or not. LoL

It had been almost a week since Kaidan got back and his behavior had only gotten weirder with each passing day. The biotic spent all day at home and whenever Shepard tried to drag him outside for quick dinner or simply take a little walk around the rebuilt areas, he'd always refuse. Funny how..the roles seemed to have changed. Shepard was on the edge, he couldn't find a plausible explanation for whatever was going on. Maybe his time at the Cerberus facility traumatized him? Hell, they fought Reapers and Cerberus before, so no, it couldn't be that. Maybe he didn't love him anymore? Great, now Shepard felt like a whiny idiot for thinking such thing.

“Shepard, have you seen that datapad i was looking at before?” Kaidan asked,walking into the wide living room, interrupting his line of thought.

“What? Uh..yes, it's right over there, on the recliner”

“Oh, of course. I probably left it there when i took a little nap. Thanks” Kaidan walked over to the recliner and sat down, taking the datapad. Shepard suddenly got curious about it, he'd always catch the Major reading or typing into the damned thing.

“Are you going to stay here all day..again?” Shepard asked, Kaidan only raised a brow at him and kept reading whatever he was reading. “I know you're on leave, but you could come with me, maybe help with repairs since you're a better tech than i am”

“Not today” Came the blunt reply.

“Alright, cut the crap. What the hell is going on with you? You've been acting weird since you got back, what is it?” And Kaidan didn't even seem bothered by the fact Shepard went out there everyday to help when he seemed much against it before. 

“Why should be there anything wrong? I'm tired, i want to rest, that's all.”

“Too tired to even touch me? Think i haven't noticed how you seem to avoid me... all that hesitation? You did ask me to move in with you” Into Shepard's apartment. They had laughed at it when Kaidan propped the invitation. “If you don't really want 'this', then just say it.”

Kaidan remained silent for a moment and lowered the datapad onto his lap, casting a stoic glance at the former Commander.

“You can't go anywhere, Shepard. I need you”

Shepard rose a brow at Kaidan's monotone tone. “Do you, now? Just...get your shit together, Alenko” Shepard pulled the hoodie over his head and walked towards the door. “ See you at dinner ”

 

Shepard left and Kaidan gazed down at the datapad, contemplating about something. The biotic needed Shepard, of course he did. He didn't come all the way here to compromise everything, did he? 

Escaping the facility had been hard...and not exactly how he had described it to Shepard or Hackett..but he escaped, that's all that matters. He had been on a stasis pod for...well, he doesn't really remember anything before that, and when he awoke, he found himself in the middle of some sort of attack. The facility was under attack, people in white uniforms, orange and black logos on their shirts, were being killed in cold blood in front of him and he remembers reacting before he himself got killed as well. He had gotten his hands on a gun and had shot a man on a blue and white armor. More followed and he had to run. He had come across another room with a lot of pods...and he almost jumped when those same pods suddenly opened and revealed a group of men..that looked exactly like him. They were all confused but their confusion only got worse when another man in a blue armor showed up. Kaidan's jaw dropped as he saw those..things, clones? There were a few more pods on the left and it seems..the whole Normandy crew had been cloned. He had dealt with Shepard's clone before and had realized how dangerous and crazy he was. Of course the Major didn't think twice when he pulled the trigger and killed all of them, The crew's clones included. One had escaped; him; and managed to put the whole facility into lockdown and even managed to activate the self destruct system as he finally made his escape. There was no way anyone could have survived the blast. Or at least that's what the clone hoped. 

So, here he was, clinging to former Commander Shepard and whatever that came attached to it. It had taken him a lot of work to learn about his original self..since he woke up with no memories, but when he found out whom he was partners with, he didn't think of letting the opportunity escape. Not after he learnt about Shepard as well. Kaidan's clone or..Subject Nº8, couldn't go out, couldn't do anything because he didn't have Kaidan's DNA and he'd easily get caught if he dared passing through an ID scanner of some sort.

“Shit, just stop hesitating” He mumbled to himself as he clicked on a vid where he could see the original Kaidan Alenko being made Spectre. He had to behave like him, move like him, or he'd be spaced! He didn't have Kaidan's battle skills or strong biotics, because he was just a copy, but he could defend himself. Hell, he did make it out alive of that horrible place. Of course..if Shepard started to suspect, he'd have to kill him, or at least try to. He surely doesn't want to die, not now that he's still learning how to be human and sees it's not so bad at all, he actually enjoys it.

 

Meanwhile, around the lower wards, Shepard helped Sarah moving the rubble and they occasionally had to pull out a corpse or two from underneath it. It was a dreadful sight..but they had gotten used to it. At least the families would have a corpse to bury. They made a little pause and Sarah seemed awfully quieter than usual.

“Something wrong?” Shepard asked as he sat down, rubbing his leg, the upper part started to hurt like it always does, but at least it wasn't going numb..yet.

“I..no, it's okay, John” She tossed a bottle of water at him and sat as well.

“You sure? Was it..the bodies?”

“No. Unfortunately...that's just routine lately” That sure sounded bitter.

“So”? He removed the cap and drank some water.

“Remember i invited you for a movie a few days ago? You..never showed up and..”

“Oh” And she had taken all this time to remember him of that it seems. Shepard had forgotten all about it because that same day Kaidan had gotten back. “Sorry, Sarah..i...yeah, i forgot. Why didn't you say anything?”

“Didn't want to sound clingy” She laughed awkwardly, rubbing her nape.

“We can still do that” He smiled at her and she smiled back. “Have to make it up for you”

“You really..don't have to do that, John”

“I want to. It would nice going out for a change since..” Since Kaidan refuses to go out, but he didn't think it was necessary to bring that up. “How about tomorrow then, at 6pm? Blasto, right? Won't watch anything without Blasto in it” He laughed and she joined him.

“Deal!”

 

Shepard got home a little later than he said he would. Dinner time was long over when he arrived at the apartment.The lights on the rest floor were out, Kaidan had moved to the first floor to get some sleep or..read that damn datapad of his, he assumed. Well, he assumed wrong. When he least expected, he was being pushed hard against the door, warm lips crashing against his, a leg going in between his. Shepard kissed him back and laughed almost out of breath when the biotic broke the kiss.

“Alright, who are you and what have you done to Kaidan?” It was just a joke but the Kaidan clone sure took it personal and kissed him harder. Whatever it takes so Shepard doesn't grow suspicious of anything.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lol, i really need to wrap this up, it has become too long already(?)

Next morning, Kaidan woke up first and though John felt him moving out of the bed, he remained in the same place, as the lazy bum he has become lately. He fell asleep again and woke up later to the smell of coffee and toasts. Really? Yeah, he thought he was still dreaming. John forced himself up and picked up his boxers from the floor, putting them on. He picked up the hoodie and wore it as well though it kinda..smelled. Lazy bum much? He dragged himself to the kitchen and found the Major pouring two mugs of coffees and bringing a plate with toasts to the table.

“Well, this is new.” John teased, taking a seat by the table, eyeing the food.

“Uh..what do you mean..?” Kaidan asked, sitting by the table as well and reaching for one of the mugs.

“You're usually too lazy to wake up this early and go to work let alone make breakfast” Shepard rubbed an eye, taking the only mug left.

“I..couldn't sleep and i was hungry, so..” All that information he took from the extranet about cooking sure paid off. Coffee tasted decent and the toasts weren't burnt. “Besides, i want to make something nice for you too”

“Right” Shepard took a sip of coffee and indeed it tasted good. “Yeah, thanks, that's cute. Though i thought you needed to replace all those calories you lost last night” He teased, grabbing a toast, almost laughing at how red the Major's cheeks got. It has been a long time since he last saw him blush and though it was kind of weird, he didn't say anything about it, didn't want to make the man more uncomfortable than he already is. Yeah, they made love last night but..something wasn't quite right, it felt like Kaidan didn't know what he was doing and chose to bottom instead. Not that Shepard complained about it, of course.

“That too, sure” He drank his coffee and ate his toast, not wanting to engage into another awkward conversation. Kaidan enjoyed what they did last night but he sure needs to do a lot more research when it comes to sex between two males “ So, uh..are you going out there today as well?”

Shepard nodded, finishing chewing on a piece of toast “It's better than sitting on my ass all day. Why, you tagging along this time, K?”

“Nah, i don't think so”

“Why am i not surprised” The former Commander finished his coffee and placed the empty mug down on the table, gazing over at his boyfriend. “I might come home late tonight, i'm going to the movies with a friend. I'd invite you to come, buuuuut..i guess we both know what your answer would be, don't we?”

“What friend? Oh..you mean, someone from the Normandy crew?”

John rose a brow at him and got up from his seat “ No, i wish. They're all busy..it's someone i met sometime ago, we help the rescue teams, clear the rubble..you know. Sarah's a great girl and has been through a lot..then again, who hasn't? We're going to the movies later in the evening”

“ Sarah? You..ah..never mentioned her before..have you?” If he did, maybe he mentioned her to the original Kaidan? Then again he could say he doesn't remember if John ever spoke of her.

“Hm..funny, i don't think i ever did. Well, gonna have a shower and get ready to head out”

Kaidan nodded at him and watched him walk out the kitchen. Alright, this Sarah shouldn't be a problem..then again, he did dig some information on Commander Shepard's past relationships and it had always been women.Okaay, maybe she could turn out to be a problem? He can't afford to lose Shepard, the man being his obvious and only shield from the real world outside. 

 

John took his clothes off and stepped into the shower, welcoming the warm water falling down on his tensed skin. He remained under the spray for a while, just enjoying the feeling...and his mind travelled back to last night. It was good, there's no denying that...but Kaidan..something's just not right since he got back. He acted weird most of time and it just..he was like a whole different person now. Yep, he'll have a chat with Hackett later and ask the Admiral to grant him acess to   
Kaidan's report on the last mission.

 

Kaidan had cleaned the kitchen and was sitting on his usual spot in the living room, datapad already in hand. John was coming down the stairs when he spotted him, seeming really focused on his reading. “ I'm leaving, see you later, Kaidan”

He lifted his gaze from the datapad only to see Shepard already out the door “Finally..” He mumbled, gazing back into the small screen. Besides searching about...a lot of stuff he still needs to get right, he was now trying to find someone on the extranet who can help him with getting an indentity. Kaidan Alenko's identity, that is. Money wouldn't be a problem since he later discovered the Major and Shepard shared an account. If he manages to pull this through, he might actually get himself a life, a real life! The original Kaidan was dead, or best said, presumed dead..so..it wouldn't be too hard assuming his identity. The rest, would develop with time even if their personalities weren't really too similar to start with. Maybe they did share one thing in common..the clone actually liked Shepard..and after last night, he was more than eager to repeat the experience.

 

Shepard and Sarah were just waiting for the movie to start. There were no popcorn nor any other snacks..but they were fine with it, at least Sarah was because Shepard could use something to much on right about now! It had been a long day of work, his leg hurt a little and both of them were still dirty and sweaty from working too hard. Neither of them bothered to go home and change because the movie was already starting when they finished removing the largest chunk of metal and concrete near one of the main lower wards access routes.

“Thanks for coming, John, i'm excited, aren't you excited?!” Sarah sure seemed happy..even if it was a Blasto movie. They were both fans but he never told her he actually read Blasto fanfiction because he's sure she'd laugh on his face..or..ask for the links later? He never knows when it comes to her.

“A little”

She playfully punched his shoulder and gazed at the poor shaped screen they managed to get when they fixed the theater. The movie started...and there was a scene with the Council. A Salarian, a Volus and a Vorcha..councilor? Oh crap! He never thought they'd actually finish this lousy movie..on which he made a brief appearance alongside the Prothean Javik a long time ago.

“That guy with the Prothean costume...it really looks authentic!”

“Hah..yeah, it does, huh?”

“Look, look, isn't that Commander Shepard? “ She squealed like a schoolgirl and he sank onto his seat, feeling rather embarrassed about seeing himself on the big screen. “You look a lot like him, did you know that, John?”

“You don't say” He kept his hair long but shaved his beard once in a while..he didn't look like his old self anymore and he never bothered either telling Sarah who he really was because it felt nice to hang out like a normal person.

 

'Salarian Councilor: Commander Shepard, great timing. Dark times are upon us, perhaps your recently defrosted partner could enlighten us with his wisdom?'

'Commander Shepard:...what?'

'Javik: I do not understand what you want me to say, but i do have a list of recipes in which the main ingredient happens to be Salarian kidney.'

'Vorcha Councilor: Prothean no like you!' Then suddenly some guy was rolling down on the floor and a Sovereign looking-prop was landing behind the Council. 

Sarah was laughing at everything as well as the few people in the room.

“Bet Blasto's about to show up” He whispered to her, knowing perfectly he'd show up in that same exact moment.

'Blasto: This one is ready to save the galaxy'

'Javik: Good, the main appetizer arrived'

 

The movie turned out to be longer than he remembered...still, it was..interesting to watch. When it was finally over, John offered to walk Sarah back to her place. They quoted the movie as they walked and shared some laughs..yeah, okay, maybe it wasn't so bad after all!

“I had a great time tonight, John. We should do this more often, what you say?” She asked,standing by the door.

“I think i'd like that, yeah”

“Great, it's a date” The woman leaned to kiss him on the cheek and then said goodbye to him, entering the house. John was still smiling at her gesture and later returned home as well.


	10. Chapter 10

For the first time in days, Kaidan wasn't home when Shepard got back. Due to the biotic's suddenly agoraphobia or whatever the hell it was he had, Shepard used to think he wasn't ever going out again. Fortunately, he had been wrong about it. He had no idea where the Major might have gone and he couldn't contact him via omni-tool either because he still didn't got a new one since he got back from his mission. All that was left for John to do was wait. He flopped down on the big couch in the living room and activated his omni-tool to get in contact with Admiral Hackett. He asked the older man if he could have access to Kaidan's report on his last mission but the Admiral simply squinted his eyes and gave the former Commander a weird look. When he said he never got any reports from Major Alenko, Shepard's suspicions grew wider. 

“Thanks, sir. That would be all”

“I'd like to take this opportunity to talk to you about something else, Shepard. Sights of a man that looks a hell lot like Commander Shepard have been reported to me and to the ANN lately. Now..i don't know what you're trying to pull here, but i did advise you to keep a low profile for a while. You're a goddamn hero, but not even i will able to protect you if any of your enemies find out you have been helping the rescue teams completely unguarded.”

Shepard laughed, the Admiral's stare intensified, the man's obviously not joking.

“Sir, so far no one has approached me that way, i highly doubt anyone recognizes me..and that's a good thing. We both know i'd go crazy in less than a day if i had to stay indoors against my will. I might..not be at 100%, but i can still defend myself, i did stop the Reaper invasion in case you've forgotten” Shepard said, all smug like. “Besides, i'm not some old relic you can throw into a shelf, not yet”

The Admiral snorted and shook his head in amusement “I warned you. Remind Major Alenko i'm still waiting for his report”

“Aye, sir”

“Hackett out”

 

Meanwhile, somewhere in the lower wards,around the rebuilt area, the Kaidan clone had managed to meet up with the guy he talked to on the extranet before. This guy, a Salarian, assured him those fake IDs would work everywhere, literally everywhere..and if the true owner of said identity was presumed dead, then he could easily live his life without any obstacles ahead.

“Hope this really works as you say..i know where to find you if they don't” He cast the Salarian a menacing glare that had him swallowing dry before activating his omni-tool to finish the transaction.

“No worries. You're not my first client and i assure you there have been no incidents regarding my fake IDs...until now” The Salarian stated, hoping it would calm the man a little.

“Until now. Yeah. We'll see”

Kaidan used his brand new omni-tool he bought an hour ago and transferred the money into the Salarian's account. Only then he left the place, the Salarian mimicking his action. He's sure Shepard's oughta be at home already..since it's kinda late. Kaidan thought of buying dinner so he could have the perfect excuse to have gone out in the first place.

 

**.Unknown ship, somewhere in the Silean Nebula.**

 

It had been what, a week, two, a month since that damned explosion in the facility? He's still not sure how the hell he managed to get out alive..but the thing is, he did. His team didn't. And all those clones, what was Cerberus planning to do with them? Did they really think they could just slaughter the entire Normandy crew and have them all replaced by those things? Seriously? The war was over..and he wasn't sure what those clones' purpose had been. It would have mande sense before the war, but now? Or..maybe they were forgotten and the scientists had no idea of what to do with them anymore? Yeah, good thing he and his team managed to find that place after getting weird readings on their scans right after leaving Cyone.

“Shit, where's a fuel depot when you need one?” Kaidan shouted, the _real_ Kaidan. He had managed to escape from the blast on a small prototype ship he wasn't quite sure of how it worked, at least not entirely, and noticed it was now running low on fuel. He was actually surprised it has lasted that long..but yeah, he's not going anywhere if he can't find a depot soon. Comms were jammed or were simply not working at all. No ships around either..and for that, he was thankful. A distress signal would probably draw unwanted attentions towards him..and he didn't want to deal with any pirates or worse right now.

He pulled the ship to its limit until he finally spotted a fuel depot not too far ahead. Seems he might get home sometime soon. He often thought of Shepard to keep him sane and it worked, most of times. Being trapped in a small ship with no one but himself for so long was harsh. He feared he might go crazy if he doesn't get to the Citadel soon.

 

**.Citadel, Shepard's Apartment.**

 

“Where the hell have you been? And what's that?” John pointed at the bag Kaidan carried, recognizing the brand imprinted on the side. “Uh..is that..?”

“Dinner, i bought dinner. Are you hungry?” The clone walked past Shepard and entered the kitchen, placing the bag on the table.

“I could eat, yeah, but..you were gone all this time just to get us food?”

“Good food, if i might add” He opened the bag, revealing a wide white rectangular box, the intense smell coming from it making Shepard's stomach rumble in anticipation.

“Noodles” Shepard smiled “Glad that place is already open to public” He got some plates and glasses from the cabinet and set the table for two.

“Yeah, they're..your favorites, right?” Thank God for Alliance Entertainment Network and their stupid articules. He'd never know these were John's favorites if he hadn't read about it almost randomly when he was browing for info on the extranet.

Shepard nodded and got the cutlery.

“Good. Let's eat then”

They ate and the pleased sounds Shepard was making were rather..disturbing. Kaidan had smiled at him and kept eating from his plate.

“I was wondering, Shepard..that casino offer...is it still up?”

“You want to go out?” Shepard asked, slurpping noodles like his life depended on it.

“I'd like that, i think i'm ready for some fun”

“Well, that's good to know! Alright, it's a date. Can never get too tired from seeing you in that black suit of yours”

Kaidan doesn't really know what he's talking about, but he smiles at him nonetheless. Surely the original Kaidan's got to have that suit somewhere in the closet upstairs.

 

When they got to the casino, people gave Shepard weird looks, some of them probably trying to recall if they have seen him somewhere before..good thing he didn't cut his hair or else it would have been too obvious. His relationship with Kaidan wasn't public either..so those people could only wonder about his true identity.

“So, what do you feel like trying tonight, Major? Roulette? Maybe..those weird Varren races?” Shepard nursed his drink, glancing towards the Quasar machines.

“I..don't think i'm good at any of that”

“So what, that's the point. We're here to have fun, aren't we?” He smiled at Kaidan and he smiled back at him, nodding once.

“Guess you're right”

The night turned out to be..quite interesting. Shepard saw kaidan have fun and cut loose..and for once he felt relieved he was slowly going back to his old self, not entirely but..almost there at least. He hadn't asked Kaidan about the reports, why hasn't he sent anything to Hackett yet..but he'd ask later. Right now he didn't want to ruin the moment.

“One more, this time i'm going to win! “ Kaidan told the Asari in charge of the game, already transferring 500 credit for his next bet.

“Good luck, sir” She said and the race started. The Varren Kaidan had picked seemed to take the lead..but it didn't last long. Close to the ending line, it was surpassed and Kaidan cursed out loud. Shepard laughed, throwing an arm around his shoulders.

“I think you've had enough. How about we go back home and..” Shepard whispered something into Kaidan's ear that had the man slightly blushing and breathing hard. The Asari had noticed that too but didn't pry. She did find it amusing though.

“Yeah, yeah...let's go home” Kaidan agreed and then both men were leaving the casino.

 

Next day Shepard finally asked Kaidan about the reports issue...and the clone had come up with an excuse. Maybe an excuse way too good, sounded like he had rehearsed it a few times. Thing is Shepard didn't want to fight..and when Kaidan said he'd send the reports later that day, Shepard calmed down a little.

“Good..i confess i..started doubting of something whe-..” But Kaidan didn't let him finish that line of thought. He had closed the distance between their lips and kissed him so hard Shepard forgot whatever he was going to say next.

“Don't worry about my reports. I'll get them done”

Shepard nodded and leaned for another kiss. Kaidan kissed back with the same intensity from before and his hands moved up and down the former Commander's sides, one eventually reaching lower to squeeze his rear “Do you really have to go out there today, John?”

“I have to. I feel good helping..in whatever way i can. Why don't you come with me? Already told you your biotics would surely come in handy”

And Kaidan grimaced...because his biotics were weak and he's sure Shepard would think something's fishy if he ever attempted to lift a pile of rubble or something. “Nah...i think i'll pass. It's not that i don't want to help, but..i dunno”

“Come on..i could introduce you to Sarah and all”

“No” Came the clone's quick reply.

“Alright..i won't insist”

Shepard turned to leave but Kaidan pulled him to his chest again “I really wished you could stay in today, Shepard”

“And why's that?” By the way he behaved, Shepard could only guess what he was really asking for here.

“Do i really need a reason?” He smirked and Shepard rose a brow.

“Well, aren't you a little bold this morning, huh? Guess..i can stay a while longer. But then i'm going”

Nope. Shepard never left the house that day. Kaidan seemed like he was on heat or something because he couldn't get his hands off Shepard..nor he wanted Shepard to go out and spend the whole day with that Sarah woman. Shepard no longer shielded him from the world outside..but Kaidan liked him, craved him like a hormonal teenager or..something like that,and he didn't want to lose him for anyone, let alone for some ...widowed woman. He realized he was possessive..and wondered if the real Kaidan ever behaved like that around his lover? No, he's HIS lover now, there's no way he's letting go of him, ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a couple more chapters and it will be over, i think(?) Btw, wanted to thank you guys for reading this story, i know it sucks lol


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be the last one.

A week later, the real Kaidan Alenko had finally arrived to the Citadel..but having been travelling in an unknown vessel and claiming to be someone who apparently was already in the station, had, for obvious reasons, whole C-sec on alert. The Major was escorted to a private docking bay and though he was confused as hell, he did as he was told. He gets the part about the ship..but he doesn't get why they're actually doubting his identity. His omni-tool had gone to shit right after the explosion and he couldn't prove anything but, dammit, how can they not know? Even Commander Bailey seemed confused as fuck when he approached him, followed closely by two other C-sec officers.

“Bailey. Care to tell me what the hell's going on here?” Kaidan demanded, trying to remain calm.

“Well, i'll be damned. It's really you, but..”

“But..?”

“According to my information, you got back to the Citadel two weeks ago, after a SPECTRE mission that went wrong” Bailey said, displaying the confirmation of his words on his omni-tool.

“That's clearly not possible since i just got here” Kaidan frowned.

“Saw you and Commander Shepard at the casino a few days ago” One of the C-sec officers said.

“What?! That..that wasn't me!”

“Sure looked a lot like you, Major Alenko,sir!” The C-sec officer insisted..and Kaidan wanted very much to punch his face.

“It's an impostor, what other explanation is there?” Until it him, the clone facility..could it be possible, did any of those things actually escape? One of them could have activated the facility's self-destruct system for all he knows! Yeah, he's pissed. Barely able to contain his anger picturing that impostor hanging out with Shepard like they belonged together. “Bailey, we need to talk. In private.”

 

Shepard hadn't gone out today either. He had stayed in bed with Kaidan, watching a few old Blasto movies. John didn't mind, he liked staying at home with Kaidan..though a part of him felt guilty for not being out there, helping. Not to mention the fact everytime he mentioned Sarah, Kaidan acted kind of weird, like he was jealous or something. Shepard found it cute. But what surprised him the most was the way the Biotic had his eyes glued to the screen. Since when had he started liking Blasto? His omni-tool pinged and he brought it up. An urgent message from Commander Bailey? This gotta be good. Kaidan gave him a sideglance and sat up in bed, stretching his arms and legs.

“What is it?” He asked, curious.

“Don't know yet “ Shepard replied, getting out of bed. “Bailey wants to see me..didn't specify the subject on his message though” The former Commander wore his leather jacket and put his shoes on. “I'm sure it won't take long”

“Hope not” Kaidan lied down again, lazily reaching for the tv remote.”Or..i could come with you.”

Shepard laughed, shaking his head.

“Just don't send a rescue team if i'm delayed for five minutes or less.” He teased and Kaidan snorted. “Okay, be back later then.”

 

It had been a little while since he visited C-sec headquarters. The building looked as good as new and those who had survived the war with minor injuries had gotten back to work in no time. C-sec was needed to keep order after all. Shepard greeted the two C-sec officers by the entrance and they saluted him in return. A redhead woman spotted him and walked over to him, datapad in hand, saying Commander Bailey was waiting for him in his office on the third floor.

“Got it. Thanks.”

The elevator ride was as slow as ever. When he got to the third floor, he noticed the small group of officers guarding the door to Bailey's office. He wondered what's the fuss all about.

“Commander Shepard” A large man with blond hair saluted him and Shepard was reluctant to salute back. He wasn't a Commander anymore..but guess there will be some people that will always see him as one. Even if he himself, doesn't, not anymore.

“Bailey's waiting for me.”

The officer turned around and tapped his earpiece, Shepard heard him talk to Bailey.

“Yes, sir, right away.” The man spun around and gestured towards the door “You may go inside.”

“Uh, thanks.”

Shepard entered Bailey's office and the door behind him locked itself automatically. He spotted the older man standing by the big window just behind the large desk.

“Bailey, what's this all about?”

“Ah, Shepard..we might..have a delicate situation in hands here. Never thought i'd see something like this happening a second time though.” Bailey snorted.

“What..are you talking about?” Yeah, Bailey, could you be more vague?!

“What Bailey is saying is...” Shepard's body tensed up for a moment. That voice.. “..You have been living with an impostor for the past weeks” The real Kaidan had walked out of the adjacent room, stopping at a short distance from John and Bailey.

“Kaidan? What the..weren't you home, i mean..” Both Bailey and Kaidan remained silent, letting the former Commander's brain process everything for a moment. “ It's...it's a clone, isn't it?” There you go! Now everything made sense about the man's weird behavior.

“Yes” Kaidan sighed. He was happy to see John again..but he was also hurt his boyfriend could never tell the difference. He was hurt, alright. “We..my team and i came across a strange distress signal when we left Cyone..it turned out be a Cerberus facility. Shepard, they had clones of the entire crew! I..managed to kill all of them, well..not all of them. It's because of that thing that it has taken me so long to get here, it's because of that thing comms weren't working, i couldn't warn anyone, couldn't get back faster, i just..”

Shepard was silent, Bailey decided to chime in.

“How about you solve your trust issues later and we deal with this clone thing first?”

“Sounds like a plan.” Kaidan said.

“He's at home” Shepard said, still letting the raw truth sink in. “ He..i don't know how he tricked me, but he did..he seems harmless though.”

“Bullshit!” Kaidan nearly yelled. “ I'm pretty sure he was the one activating the facility's self-destruct system. My whole team died and i could be dead too! Thanks whatever Gods out there, i managed to escape. Harmless? Harmless my ass, i'm gonna put a bullet straight into the middle of his eyes!” Psycho Kaidan has spoken!

“If Shepard says he's harmless, i'm sure we can send a small team to get him.”

“Or i could go” Kaidan said. “ One shot, swift and simple, no need to busy your men when there's so much to do out there, Bailey. Besides..i'm a SPECTRE, remember? Even if that thing has taken over my life..once it's dead, everything will be explained and back to normal.”

“Isn't that a little too harsh?” Shepard interjected “Don't get me wrong, i'm pissed, but he's not like my clone. My clone was insane.And this..person, thing..looks as much as human to me as you two”

Uh-huh, Shepard's words got Kaidan really angry. Why was he defending the clone? Shepard of all people should understand, right? “ You have been fucking him, taking him out, laughing with him, you've gone soft, John. And i'd tear you a new one for not being able to tell the difference if i didn't respect you so much!”

Shit just hit the fan. Shepard knows Kaidan is right...but somehow he got attached to the other Kaidan. They were the same but very different from each other in the end. Yeah, he should have known something was amiss, he suspected for a while but the clone theory never came to his mind. Why should it anyway?! 

“You're right, Major” The mention of his rank had the Biotic snapping at attention. “Bailey, arrest the clone. Lock him, lose the key..” He shrugged, Kaidan frowned, Bailey rose both brows. “ There's no need to kill it off.”

Kaidan wanted to yell at him again. No need to kill the thing? Did he just dismiss what he said about his whole team dying on the explosion? Kaidan glared at his boyfriend..or ex-boyfriend, at this point, he's not too sure of what he wants.

“You've got no authority here, Shepard “The Major said in a rather cold tone.

“Well, neither do you.” Came Shepard's blunt reply.

“Alright, how about you boys lemme handle this?” Bailey said, walking back to his desk. “I'll send a team to detain him. If the subject proves to be hostile, we'll use force. If not, we'll do as Shepard said. Does it work for the both of you?"

Shepard nodded, Kaidan avoided eye contact with the man but ended up nodding as well.


	12. Chapter 12

Back at the apartment, the Kaidan clone had no way of knowing what was coming for him. How could he, it's not like he can predict the future or anything..though the fact C-sec's Boss requested Shepard's presence at HQ..had him a little bit on edge. Just a little. Again, he had no way of knowing what it was all about. He focused on doing some cleaning and then thought of arranging something for lunch. And then someone knocked. The clone knew John wouldn't knock on his own apartment's door..so..who else could it be? He went to the door and brought the vid comm up to check who was outside. A woman with long brown hair and dressed in working clothes stood outside. Was this..Sarah? He didn't want to open the door, didn't want to talk to her..but something deep inside him forced him to at least share a word with the woman. It's a good thing Shepard isn't around, he thought. He opened the door but didn't invite her inside, standing by the doorway instead, arms crossed over his chest.

“What do you want?”

The woman rose a brow at the man's sight, she knows she's seen him somewhere else. His rude behavior was what got her into defensive move almost instantly.

“John lives here, doesn't he? Is he..home?” She asked, studying the man's posture. He sure looks familiar..wasn't his face all over the news when...oh! Then she realized this man in front of her was Major Alenko! And if the rumors about Major Alenko and Commander Shepard were to be true, then..was John..Commander John Shepard? She was confused, why would John hide this from her, weren't they friends?

“He's not home and i don't know what time he's coming back. You sould go.” Evil Clone, stealing Shepard's lines and reversing them, tsk.

“I'm friends with the _Commander._ ” She spat and the clone lifted a brow at the way she spoke to him. According to Shepard, this female friend of his didn't know who he was. Seems he was wrong, gotta give her some credit, she put the pieces together and hit jackpot. Not..that it mattered much.

“And?”

“And he has been missing for a few days and i thought of coming to check on him.”

“Why?” Kaidan clone sure wasn't amused.

“Because..that's what friends do?”

Friendship. There's a concept he is yet to explore. He's pretty content with what he has with Shepard though. Just the both of them, no friends, no one to get in the way..and this Sarah..she was trying to get in the way, wasn't she? According to the clone's very blunt way of seeing things, she surely was.

“Friends, uh? No further interest on my boyfriend then?”

Gee, the word “boyfriend” sure confirmed all of Sarah's suspicions and all those rumors out there as well. She wasn't shocked, maybe a little shaken? She had been developing a crush on John after all..and since he never mentioned a partner before, she thought she might have a chance.

“Why would someone as kind as him have someone as ...as awful as you for a partner? I don't care if you were part of the Normandy crew when the war started. You're..ugh, you know what? You're right. I should go.”

But the clone wasn't going to let her leave just like that. She enraged him and for that, she had to pay. 

 

Back at C-sec, Bailey was issuing orders to the small team he had assembled while Kaidan, the real Kaidan, supervised the whole thing. Not that Bailey needed supervision, the man knows very well what he's doing. Shepard was around..or at least that's what they thought. When neither Bailey or Kaidan found the man in the building, Kaidan got worried.  
  
“We still have a job to do, Major. You can tag along or you can stay here while he handle the subject.” Bailey said, approaching him.

“I'm not staying here, this is personal, Commander, i'm definitely going.”

“What about uh..Shepard? My men can't find him anywhere in the building.”

“Let's focus..on my clone first, shall we? Shepard's issues are... secondary this time.” The Major said, releasing a heavy sigh.

“Alright” Bailey walked back to his squad and gestured for them to follow him “Move out, people!”

 

Shepard had left C-sec unnoticed. He wasn't even an infiltrator..but damn if those new recruits aren't dumb! C-sec's finest alright. The former Commander was pissed off with, well, everything. He was happy Kaidan was back, sure, but he didn't agree on killing the clone off just because it had been fighting for survival after being forced to wake up. It..HE, he was human after all, wasn't he? He did try saving his own clone back then..only it didn't work well. Shepard made it back to the apartment before C-sec would show up...and that's when he found the front door open..and blood stains on the floor, leading inside.

“What the hell?” It couldn't have been C-sec..nor Kaidan, no, it was impossible. He wasn't carrying a gun though, all he had was his omni-blade. Shepard walked inside, slowly and carefully, following the blood..not hearing a sound in the house. He wondered if some thief got in and hurt Kaidan? Hurt the clone..right, it was still weird to call him like that. Clone. Dammit, he really should have known. The trail led to the room behind the kitchen...and the scene he stumbled across looked like it was out of some cheap horror movie. Blood everywhere, a tiny body lying on the floor...a female body..wait, was that..?

“Sarah? Oh God..fuck! “ He rushed to check on her and when he turned her over, he saw the stab mark on her chest. She was..cold, long gone. He got her blood on his hands and clothes..and none of this made sense to him. Why was Sarah dead in his apartment? And more important than that, where the hell was the clone?!

“Kaidan!” He stood up, anger boiling inside him.

The clone descended the stairs..it seemed like he had been having a shower?

“Here” He grinned at Shepard, frowning and pursing his lips into a thin line when he saw the blood all over the former Commander's clothes “Oh..you should probably get cleaned up, Shepard.”

What the actual fuck?

“You..you fucking murdered Sarah in cold blood, didn't you?” The omni-blade glowed a bright orange on his arm.

“Had to be done, i didn't like her attitude. She wanted you all for herself. Called me rude..”

How could someone remain so calm after killing an innocent in cold blood, he'll never know. Shepard fumed, all intentions he had before about helping the clone, vanished, just like that. He couldn't care less if C-sec and Kaidan bursted inside the place and filled him with bullets.  
  
“I know what you are..and even if you weren't just a pale imitation of the real thing..you'd never pass as a human being. You're a goddam monster”

“What, i..” Did the clone really think John would thank him for getting rid of the _evil_ woman and just run into his arms and ask what's there for lunch? “So..he's back? Shit...i “

“Shut the hell up!”

“I did this for us, John, i love you, can't you see that?”

Shepard was..mindfucked to say the least.

“You've been alive for a little over than a month and you come talking about love right after you murdered someone because of her attitude? Like i said, you're not even human.”

Shepard jumped on him,the sharp pointy end of his omni-blade grazing the other man's shirt as the clone did his best to dodge the attack.

 

Didn't take much longer for C-sec to arrive at the scene. The clone was down when they got there..and due to the blood on the floor, they had no idea if he was dead or alive. Shepard stood against the wall, seeming out of breath, bending slightly to rub the spot right where the muscle and the prosthetic leg connected.

“What the hell happened here?” Bailey asked, looking around, finding another trail of blood leading somewhere else. Two of his men followed that same trail, finding Sarah's body in the other room.

“It's a bloodbath, Commander! “ One of the officers shouted.

Kaidan walked inside and he didn't even look twice at the clone. He focused on Shepard instead. While Bailey and his team handled everything, the Major dared to approach Shepard, taking a good look of him first, searching for any injuries. Besides a scratch here and there, he seemed okay.

“John..” He started.

“He's dead” Shepard shrugged, looking everywhere but at Kaidan or the clone. “He killed Sarah. Had to kill him.”

Kaidan wasn't too familiar with Sarah, only heard of her once or twice while he was off planet, supervising the engineers on Cyone. Why would the clone kill the woman, he wondered? Then he cursed himself for that. The thing was evil,stop wondering.

“I'm sorry. I know..she was a good friend, right?”

“Was. Yes”

“Why didn't you wait for us back at C-sec? Why come here all by yourself? He ..he could have killed you too.”

“Came here to bail him, Kaidan. To help him. Didn't expect to..” He trailed off “ You know..God, i'm an idiot!”

Bail him? The Major sure had to take a deep breath and ignore that “It's okay, it's all over now.” Kaidan dared to place a hand on his shoulder, tried to comfort him, trying to forget how angry at him he had been before.

“No shit. I need to get out of here.”

 

Kaidan let him. He watched Shepard walk out the door, still covered in blood, wondering where the hell he planned on going like that. Then Bailey rejoined Kaidan and the Major assured the Commander that Shepard wouldn't forget his obligations. The man did have to give his version of the facts. And so did Kaidan.

A few days later, Kaidan got his life back...and they were even able to track down the Salarian that had sold the fake IDs to the clone. When Hackett was briefed on the whole thing, his only reaction was something like: _Holy fucking hell!_ Thanks, Hackett.

Kaidan stayed at the apartment, arranged it to get cleaned..and Sarah's body had been sent to the morgue. When Shepard got back the next day, the man insisted he wanted to be the one giving the news to whatever's left of her family. He owed that to her. A couple days later, Shepard and Kaidan assisted her funeral.. though the Major wasn't quite sure what was going on between the two of them. John didn't talk much and opted to stay at some nearby Hotel after everything that happened.

Finding himself alone in the apartment, Kaidan busied himself with a few small tasks, not wanting to even think about what John and the clone had been doing together while he was away, struggling to return. The man did..cheat on him..even if he had no way of knowing that thing wasn't him. Anger soon gave place to frustration and how he longed to have Shepard by his side and forget about everything.Thinking about John was what kept him moving and he wasn't about to lose him again, not like this, at least. He decided to send him a message, a peace offer...he only hoped the other man would see it that way.

Shepard was alone too, in his Hotel room, lying down in bed, watching some crappy old movie on Tv about two Vorchas being in love. Damn, he really didn't want to get to the kissing part..if there was even one. The movie sucked, everything sucked..and he was still trying to process what happened in the past month. A clone, a goddamn clone tricked almighty Commander Shepard, hero of the Citadel, savior of the Galaxy..really? Had he really been that dumb? Perhaps he had. Then his thoughts went to Kaidan. He knows he's not being fair with the man..knows he had a hard time out there, trying to get back home as fast as that prototype ship would allow it. He knows. But he also knows he cheated on him with a cheap copy of his though, and he knows Sarah is dead because of him, not because of anyone else. That's one more death he'll have to live with. Above all that, he missed Kaidan...but he wasn't sure if the Biotic wanted him back. They didn't get to talk much after the funeral. He was thinking if he should message Kaidan when his omni-tool pinged. Kaidan just..messaged him instead. What are the odds?

_“Blasto and beers? We really need to talk. I promise i'll stay awake during Blasto this time.”_

Shepard didn't fight the silly smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he finished reading the message.

“No, you won't. I'll be there”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end. Yay!


End file.
